Don’t you hate being alone with your thoughts sometimes? I do. Especially if I’m in a negative space It can be extremely hard.  I wish I could escape my mind. If only there was a way that we could just turn off our thoughts for a few hours how great would that be lol! You basically live in your head 24/7 so it should be your happy place, filled with positive thoughts, (at least most of the time). Because once you have positive thoughts it manifests in your life, your behaviour, emotions, and feelings. You start to attract positivity. However, when you have negative thoughts you subconsciously begin to attract and manifest negativity.

I noticed that whenever I get into a negative space, I look for ways to distract myself so I don’t have to be alone with my thoughts. Instead of choosing positive distractions which are conducive to my well-being for example gym, reading, writing etc. I do the complete opposite. In the past and even up until now, I would go back to old unhealthy relationships, friendships or situations because at that moment in time I don’t have to think about what is really bothering me. But by doing that, going back to destructive situations instead of thinking of positive solutions it causes me to slowly self-destruct. So it’s basically like a no-win situation. Because that way you don’t have to sit with your thoughts or sit with your anxiety. You won’t try to understand yourself and why you think and feel the way you do at that moment in time. So again we distract ourselves because it’s easier than dealing with the actual problem.

That’s where self-love comes in, and not being scared to be alone with yourself and your thoughts. It’s all about knowing yourself, loving yourself and trying to understand yourself. Instead of looking for distractions by doing things you wouldn’t normally do if you were in a more positive space. It’s so important to sit with yourself, it’s ok to really feel the full range of your emotions, to cry if you need to and to try to understand your feelings. As uncomfortable as it may be in that present moment that’s the best thing to do as its necessary for your own healing process. Once you begin to sit with your thoughts is when you will start to deal with them. You will begin to drop your unhealthy coping methods such as distracting yourself.

I’ve tended to distract myself by obsessing over something because that’s the only way I feel like I can gain control, and it’s a weird one I know. Like how do you gain control by obsessing over something? I’m still trying to work that one out myself, to be honest. But me having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) (I actually do have that btw lol I’m not self-diagnosing) I believe is an unhealthy way of me having control over something. Because I don’t really feel like I have control over my thoughts and emotions sometimes especially when I’m really struggling to think more positively. I’ve never really been taught how to constructively deal and sit with my emotions. So I’d obsess over something to gain control or get back into contact with people who aren’t healthy for me. Also at times, I’ve found myself running away since I can’t run away from my thoughts I learned to run away from situations that can trigger these thoughts and stop myself from having to actually deal with my emotions.

This does take time, learning to be patient with yourself is important. It’s easy to beat yourself up especially when you feel like you’re making progress and then falling back into a negative space. Understand that there will be days where you will be doing well and then there will be days where you’ll feel shitty. And whilst there are many things that happen that are out of our control. Our thoughts, our behaviour, and reactions we can control. So learn to practice positive thoughts and positive behaviours, take time out to know yourself, love yourself and figure yourself out. And most importantly don’t be hard on yourself in the process.

Thank you for reading.