Can’t we be both the pretty face and the girl with amazing things to offer the world?

For a while, I’ve been thinking about my self-image and how I can show more of who I am (by being more open) particularly on social media. Whilst I am a very honest person, also quite an extrovert and anyone who knows me knows that doing image and looks is the least important thing to me. I’ve felt frustrated because I wasn’t exactly representing myself that way online. So, I’ve been thinking about how I can be my most authentic self not just in real life.

I noticed a long time ago that the way I’ve represented myself on socials like Instagram has reflected the type of people and conversations I’ve attracted. We all know how social media works, posting provocative pictures will get you a certain amount of attention and engagement.  I would feed into that by posting those types of pictures (but honestly, unless I’m making money on Instagram, this is actually a waste of my time). Don’t get me wrong though, I’m very confident in my body and love taking pictures. However, the energy I began to attract was negative because my socials did not embody who I am as a person, my beliefs and values. I wasn’t expressing who I was or discussing topics important to me. I would get direct messages from men who would sexualise me or talk to me with a sense of entitlement. After a while, I even started to accept peoples negative view of me and instead of challenging it or changing it I would just brush it off. As much as a tried to ignore it, it did bother me.

I know a lot of girls can relate to this, and this can harm your sense of self, making you feel uncomfortable or unseen.  However, the only way to combat that feeling of discomfort is to live your truth and be yourself. Not just on social media but in every aspect of your life. Show people who you are and what you stand for no matter how uncomfortable it may make others. For the most part, the energy you put out there is the energy you will receive.

I’m well aware that in this society sometimes we can shy away from being our true selves, especially on social media where people can fake a lifestyle or be someone they are not. This increases individual pressure and we can begin to think that just being ourselves isn’t even good enough. And I get it, but what I’m realising is when you are yourself you can attract positivity, make connections and meet likeminded people. Life becomes purposeful and more fulfilling.

For example, 2 years ago when I started this blog, I noticed a change in the way people would approach me. This may be because I wrote about how much of an anxious mess I was at the time which may have scared some men off (hopefully) or it could be that by being completely honest and open about my experience people were able to see more than what meets the eye. Its most likely the latter, or a bit of both. Either way, this reinforced to me how important it is for me to live honestly and be myself without fear of how I will be perceived by others. This completely increased my confidence in myself and allowed me to make more positive connections and have meaningful conversations.

Also, now that I am becoming the woman God made me to be, I want to help people through speaking my truth so I need to show that woman not just in real life but online as well. Show that I am more than just a pretty face by expressing who ‘Erykah’ really is. But this post is for the girls who feel misunderstood and unseen, for the girls who do not yet have the confidence to live their authentic self and for the girls who have something amazing inside them ready to blossom. For the girls who are MORE than just a pretty face. And this post is for me, the girl who wants to live her truth!

With that being said, anytime anyone undermines who you are as a person, sexualises you or acts like you have nothing to offer, remind them who tf you are! You can be both the pretty face and the girl with beautiful, influential things to say and offer the world.

Thank you for reading!