Healing is not a linear process. Healing takes time and action.

There are many things that I am always learning about myself – when certain situations occur I get triggered and reminded of my unhealed wounds. There are things that I have not yet dealt with or pushed aside. So I felt inspired to write this post because I am still going through this process, I am still feeling the side effects.

Being aware of your unhealed wounds increases your self-awareness which helps you to recognise your triggers and understand how this affects aspects of your life and how they are showing through your actions. For me, I am very self-aware but I am realising that I can’t keep running away from my healing. It isn’t healthy to ignore your unhealed wounds. If so, you will continue to run into the same problem and go through the same cycle. 

You have to participate in your healing. Make moves and do the work whilst giving yourself grace and compassion when you revert to old habits or make mistakes. Healing is a process and it isn’t always an easy one. However, once you realise what your issues are, and they are affecting you. The impact this is having on your self-esteem, worth, and view of yourself is when you have to take action.

This awareness is a blessing, but you cannot avoid conflict, pain, or rejection as this is a part of life. You cannot try to spare everyone’s feelings, this is your journey, to learning to love yourself better, and healing old wounds. In the process, breaking old habits and patterns, trying to be a better version of yourself is your focus! People who love you and want better for you will understand, and allow you to continue your journey. If they don’t, that is ok too. It just means they are not meant to come along with you. 

For years I have consistently made the same mistakes in relationships. In which I have dealt with a lack of assertiveness and low self-trust. Running from conflict, chasing monetary highs, and avoiding lows in relationships has led me down the same path and same cycle since I was a teen. And it is even hard for me to recognise that I am still repeating the same behavioural patterns. Although I have learnt, grown, and evolved which is amazing. I have also ran from doing the work because I have found it hard painful to acknowledge the root of these problems. 

But now I am doing the work because I recognise the patterns, and as a self-aware adult, I have to find the tools and be proactive. It doesn’t matter how long it takes me, I am just happy to be starting my healing process. (Also, your process may consist of many things such as therapy, journalling, meditation etc). Do what works for you!

With that being said, through my journey I am learning to forgive myself for all the times I put up with disrespect and went against my core values. Because I understand that I was doing the best I could from my own level of consciousness. But once you know better you do better.  

Healing takes time. However, you need to make time for it and participate actively in your healing. You have to show up for yourself. 

Thank you for reading.

Love Erykah x