One thing about me, I’m going to bottle everything inside until the day comes when I am so triggered the emotional breakdown starts. All of the emotional pain and anxiety builds up within me to the point where I can’t distract myself, laugh or joke it off anymore. My body is telling me “sis, go and sit with your emotions”. I realised I needed to heal my inner child when I was craving specific emotional responses from my partners without expressing that need. And when I didn’t get the response, I wanted I would have an inner tantrum and get an urge to run away. From then on, I made it my responsibility to do inner child healing work. 

On that note, it’s amazing how our bodies react to our unhealed wounds. They manifest in multiple ways and some you may not be consciously aware of. For me, it’s trying to control everything, anxiety, emotional instability and having the urge to run away when conflict arises. 

Your inner child is defined as a direct representation of you in your early years and being in touch with your inner child is a positive way for you to deal with hard times. However, for some people, our childhood experiences weren’t always positive. Some were traumatic, you may have needed protection from those who were supposed to be responsible for you. Instead, you were neglected, abused or dealing with emotionally immature parents, stopping you from fully experiencing the joys of childhood. And so, this trauma may have been buried inside for you to navigate through life. You may now be experiencing the result of the unhealed wounds which could be showing up within your adulthood through your relationships, emotions, insecurities or your inability to set boundaries, putting yourself first and taking care of your personal needs. 

We all have our coping strategies, whether beneficial or not, we all do things that allow us to navigate our day to day lives. They can also be defence mechanisms. Being an adult means being responsible for yourself whereas your inner child needs parenting and looking after. So, your defence mechanisms maybe you trying to protect yourself from harm. And honestly why do we even want to think about our unhealed wounds or trauma? Why do we want to remember what hurt us the most? We are adults with shit to do and money to make. So instead, we try to ignore the unhealed parts of us until we are forced to face them.

Many of us get into relationships or distract ourselves with a wounded inner child. We may want these things to do the healing for us. We don’t always want to be responsible for our healing or our pain especially when someone else caused it. For me, there are times where I’ve wanted someone to feel the same hurt, they’ve caused me because maybe then I’ll feel better, maybe then I’ll move on. But life doesn’t work like that and when you are dedicated to your healing you will understand that you are responsible for yourself and how you feel. 

Sometimes recognising what you needed when you were a child can help you recognise what you need as an adult. Your inner child is a direct representation of yourself as well, the parts of you that should be carefree, trusting, open, and playful. Your inner child deserves to be nurtured but when it is wounded, you may need to work on that first before you can live your life in full alignment and truly be you. 

With that being said, if you identify that you may have a wounded inner child. There are several ways in which you can begin to heal. One way is writing a letter to your inner child, where you can highlight specific moments in your childhood and any emotions you may have felt during. You can journal and use prompts. Or speaking to your inner child using affirmations. You could say out loud things that you may have needed to hear when you were a child, such as “it’s going to be ok”. Simple, but effective. It may be helpful to do more research into this as well to widen your understanding and how a wounded inner child can show up in your adult life. Knowing the signs may help you to understand yourself more. Life is about knowing who you are and living in alignment with your core values. Start by healing your inner child.

Thank you for reading x