Life is more peaceful when you stay in your lane. You cannot measure yourself or your journey against other people’s, your journey is different. As long as you are proactive and disciplined in reaching your goals that’s all that matters.

6 ways to stay in your lane and focused on your goals: 

1. Visualise your higher self:

Figure out where you want to be and the person you want to be. It’s helpful to write down and answer the following questions to give you a more specific idea, this will also help you to know whether your actions are aligning with your higher self. If it’s not drawing you closer, then you have no business doing it. Do things that your higher self will thank you for. 

• What does she/he look like?
• What does she/he do?
• How is she/he spending their day?
• Where does she/he live?
• Who does she/he surround themselves with?
• What does she/he do in their spare time?

Create a vision board – this can be helpful especially if you are a visual person. And a fun, creative way to highlight your goals. But make sure you put it somewhere you can at least glimpse at it every day. You can make yearly vision boards, monthly (if you have the time) or a 5 year one like myself. 

2. Remind yourself every day of your long-term goals and vision:

This could be as simple as, looking at your vision board, praying, doing manifestation techniques or just reading over your monthly or yearly goals regularly. This may also help to reduce the anxiety or impatience you might feel when you come across someone online who may have achieved a similar goal to yours before you. There’s nothing to worry about when you understand your vision, your journey and the necessary steps you need to take, to get there. 

3. Create non-negotiable hours to focus on your goals and work:

These are hours in which you dedicate solely to yourself, your goals and work. These are non-negotiable so nothing except an emergency should stop you from spending this time. This means saying “no” to friends, family or anything else, avoiding your phone, turn your phone off or put it on do not disturb. This also means discipline, no matter how tired you are, wake up and get it done. (Don’t kill yourself though, breaks matter).  Give yourself this time strictly to do what you need to do and when it’s done great, go enjoy. But this time is for you. One way to implement this is to create a schedule, such as from 6:30am – 8:00am you are doing your dream work, exercising, writing or reading. Anything that gets you closer to your goals and higher self. Put this time aside and dedicate yourself to it with no excuses. However, this may be something you need to ease into for it to become a habit as you don’t want to start with all this momentum for it to die down because you are not feeling motivated. 

4. Take social media breaks and limit your time on gossip pages:

Recently, I unfollowed pages like ‘TheShadeRoom’ and the UK Version – ‘TheShadeBorough’. I can’t lie these pages are entertaining at times with the tea, but they are gossip pages that are dedicated to other peoples and celebrity’s business as well as drama and negativity. Sometimes we may spend a lot of time on these pages, scrolling and reading through comments. I know I have because it’s entertaining. But when you are trying to focus on yourself and your goals it’s best to tune out all of this as much as possible. I only look here and there but I don’t let it consume my energy or my time like I have before. 

Additionally, taking social media breaks is important – I do this from time to time, particularly with Twitter because it can be so negative and it’s draining to see so many people projecting or seeking validation every day. Most people on social media tend to show positive aspects of their life. You’ll go on Twitter and you are most likely going to see at least one tweet about “I got my first whatever it is at (Insert young age)” because many people want strangers to notice and validate their achievements (not everyone does this for validation though and I believe in sharing your achievements and celebrating yourself). However, let’s not deny for some people this is triggering and may make you feel like you are not doing enough, and you need to do more. People will start putting pressure on themselves and forcing things simply because of what they’ve seen on social media. I don’t feel this pressure because I have a strong tunnel vision mentality and I know my purpose, but I can understand how others feel.

5. When you interact with others try to gossip less about other people:

Why spend so much time concerning yourself with gossip or what other people are doing (some small tea here and there is perfectly normal). One thing about me is I’m very nonchalant, I don’t get involved in topics that I don’t care about or don’t concern me. So many people will spend hours talking or tweeting about people who they do not know. Do you know how time-consuming this is? Put this energy into yourself and the people that DO know you. 

6. Find an accountability partner: 

Staying in your lane means full focus on yourself and your goals. Having an accountability partner will ensure this is exactly what you are doing. If they see you falling off, they should let you know and remind you to get back on track. An example of this which I’ve done with my friend is putting your weekly tasks and goals in your Notes app (share this note with your friend), ticking them off and then reviewing them at the end of the week. If something hasn’t been done you will have to explain this to your accountability partner and see how you can do better the following week. This can be very helpful and keeps you focused knowing you have someone holding you accountable. 

Remember, we are not in competition with anyone but ourselves and there is room for everyone to win. We truly do not know the intricacies of people and their lives and how they were able to do the things they show, or the issues they may be facing. Everyone including me and you show only what we want people to see. Do not put other people on a pedestal, you were divinely created to be you with your own purpose and life journey. 

Again, life is more peaceful when you stay in your lane.

Thank you for reading!