This season of my life has proven to be a difficult one. I’m not sure when a change will come but I’m on a journey and I haven’t yet touched the surface of what I know I am capable of achieving. Whilst I have laid the foundations, I feel stuck, and I am having a hard time moving forward. The best way to put it is that I have planted the seed, but I haven’t yet got the water I need to allow it to fully flourish.

During this season, I have been trying to connect with everything outside of myself. I have been searching for answers to gain signs about the next period of my life. Despite not being religious, I have listened to sermons (very uplifting btw), watched many YouTube videos on God, timing and seeking the voice of God, read horoscopes, looked out for some Universal signs such as angel numbers in hopes of finding an answer. Honestly, I can’t say I found any answers per se. Although, the YouTube videos did provide me tools to live purposefully I don’t believe I gained a life-changing revelation.

Writing this at 2:30 am, with insomnia and a headache to top it off. I now know what the answer is. That I have the answer, the answer I am looking for is within me. It is not to say that I won’t connect with God or even look out for universal signs. But I believe God is within as well as around us. I just need to tap into a different level of awareness that is directly linked to myself and the power that lays within me. We all have divine self-consciousness and for the most part, your answers can be found within. However, when you struggle to believe in yourself, trust yourself or have faith in yourself it can be difficult to turn inward for answers.

In this moment of self-awareness, I know that I need to make a conscious effort to seek answers within. I even deleted my horoscope app just now because I noticed myself looking on there for answers or clarification about how some situation in my life could turn out but when it didn’t give me what I was looking for I’d get a little annoyed.

On that note, I am more spiritual than religious but that has never taken anything away from my relationship with God. Yet, when you seek answers from outside of yourself you can begin to forget that God is within you. Remember that in your hardest times. And when you need an answer look inward, you already have everything you need to keep going (Note to self).