I came across this statement in 2018, after going through a hard time and being faced with challenges the required me to do exactly that, feel the fear. This year has also been very anxiety-inducing for me, having had to do many things that made me fearful such as quitting my job earlier in the year, re-launching my clothing label and many other worries.

“Do you know who you are? Don’t let anyone intimidate you!”

– 18 year old Erykah

Fear is such an overwhelming emotion, and if you let it, it can be the enemy of progress. Fear can make you avoid bettering yourself and being productive. Now that I think about it, there was a situation that occurred when I was 18 that is a testament to my mindset. I remember my first bar job where the environment was quite hostile. I didn’t get along with the two girls who were working there (one of them was a supervisor so she was on some sort of unnecessary power trip and the other girl was a sheep). Sometimes going into work was anxiety-inducing, but there was one particular time where I stayed in the toilet for a while because I did not want to go out and deal with these people. I remember hesitating and then I said to myself something along the lines of “Do you know who you are? Don’t let anyone intimidate you!” It was basically like an ‘I’m that bitch!’ type of moment. It seems like such a small thing but in hindsight, it was the start of me pushing myself out of my comfort zone and doing things that scare me because I KNOW I deserve to take space in whatever environment I’m in.

And sometimes a little pep talk is needed to remind yourself who are you and to push you out into an anxiety-inducing situation. 

Don’t let your mind give you 100 reasons why you should NOT do something, because it definitely will. When you are faced with something that scares you, your body goes into fight or flight mode. Humans have a need to feel safe and protected so sometimes you will experience procrastination, or you will just avoid it overall as a way to protect yourself. However, you don’t always know what good can come out of doing something that scares you. Growth lies outside of your comfort zone; life isn’t easy, and progression comes at a cost. To progress means you need to be active in the pursuit of your goals, but the only way to do that is to do things that are sometimes very difficult. 

Hesitation before doing something is okay, but it is not helpful to procrastinate and ponder for too long before you need to start moving. Just like myself, I couldn’t stay in the toilet for too long before they started wondering where I was then I would be forced to come out. 

In my adult life, I have to do and will continue to do so many things that bring me anxiety such as, putting myself out there with my business, job interviews, networking etc. But I try to see it as an opportunity to prove to myself that I am deserving of more, that I have the right to whatever I am trying to achieve. Each of these elements, whilst scary will lead me to where I want to go. I also try to remind myself in those moments that time goes by very fast, once I’ve done what it is I need to do, it’s done. I can then move on and keep going forward, whatever the outcome. 

How can you combat your fears? 

Feel Your Fear: Although at times it is overwhelming, it is okay to sit with and feel your emotions. When you can recognise and label what you are feeling, you can begin to fight your fears.

Practice Faith: Knowing you will be good regardless is important when facing your fears. If you are strong in your belief and conviction that you are deserving, that whatever is meant for you will be for you. But success doesn’t happen without action, keep your faith and keep pushing. 

Recognise the Root Cause of Your Fears: Does your fear stem from fear of rejection, fear of failure or success, fear of the unknown? Try to understand this so you can begin to reject these fears.

Ask Yourself Reflective Questions Whenever you are Feeling Fearful: 

• What negative thoughts are going through my head right now?
• What am I really scared of?
• What is causing me to feel this way?
• What outcome do I want?
• What is the worst that can happen from taking this step?
• What do I have to lose by doing this?

Give yourself the chance to be and do what your heart desires x

Thank you for reading!