“Forgive yourself. The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can forgive yourself for all the wounds you’ve created in your own life. Forgiveness is an act of self-love.”

Miguel Angel Ruiz

Why is it easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves?

I had been drowning in self-pity and self-disdain for decisions I made 2,3 years ago. I tried to stay afloat by ignoring my internal pain and conflict. But I stopped staying afloat, and started drowning. 

On top of anxiety, self-forgiveness has proven to be a struggle for me. I’m regularly replaying some of the events in my past, and the more I focus on it, the angrier I become – because why didn’t I do better? Rationally, I know those experiences are a part of my story and they have led me to where I am now. But lord knows, it is difficult. 

I’m upset with myself mainly because I believe I should have known better. I have shame and guilt for decisions I made and the things I allowed to happen. I knew that I contributed to my own suffering. I ignored all of the signs. I looked past the red flags and continued to entertain toxic patterns, relationships etc. This makes me angry. 

However, I am learning that in order to move away from our past and heal from our experiences, we must begin to forgive ourselves for everything we did that weren’t healthy for us. We must forgive our “bad” decisions and toxic choices. We must remember that who we were then is not who we are now.

I could sit around for days upon days wishing I did things differently. I could stay mad at myself and reminisce on the past. I can hold onto those who did me wrong and direct the anger I have for myself onto them. But ultimately, I will be doing myself a disservice. Instead, I can begin to release the pain, work on forgiving myself and letting go.

Why should we hold ourselves hostage to our past anyway? Someone said “It’s important to remember that we literally aren’t the same person we once were. We are impermanent”. And I couldn’t agree more.

Thank you for reading.