I started therapy a few months back, and one thing that has strongly resonated with me is the importance of compassion.

To have a healthy relationship with yourself, you must practice self-compassion. Self-compassion teaches you to be kind, and loving to yourself. As someone with a strong inner critic, I have had difficulty being compassionate toward myself. I struggle with perfectionism, so when I make mistakes, fall short of my expectations or break promises to myself, I feel deeply disappointed. My inner critic makes an appearance and reminds me why I am not good enough and how flawed I am. It is such an frustrating experience because mistakes are inevitable. One thing I understand now is that our childhood, experiences, trauma etc. shapes our worldview. There is so much unlearning that comes with growth and healing. So, it is natural to make mistakes or revert to old patterns within this period. Self-compassion makes your journey through life a little easier, reminding you that you are human, but you deserve love and kindness even on your bad days. For some of us, it is easier to find compassion for other people but not so much for ourselves. We can give people grace despite seeing the imperfection and flaws in them but expect ourselves to get it right 100% of the time. It is unrealistic and unfair.

Outside of us, being compassionate to others is also healthy. It is easy to personalise someone’s behaviour. However, sometimes someone’s actions have nothing to do with us. There have been times when I have held onto anger for someone’s mistreatment of me. But then I began to understand that someone’s actions reveal a lot about their internal world. Many people are suffering, angry and hurt. It’s easier to project their pain onto others. Whilst this is unacceptable, having compassion for those people can allow you to heal and move on. Especially when you know their behaviour had nothing to do with you.

Be kind to yourself and others.

Thank you for reading!
Erykah x