It’s hard being a lover girl and going through a single season. It feels lonely at times, I feel lonely. But I am appreciating my loneliness, I accept this season for all that comes with it and whilst it is difficult, it is very much needed. There is nothing wrong with wanting to experience love, I will never feel bad for desiring love and wanting a relationship. However, I can appreciate the value of accepting my singleness and being content with my single self.

Anyway, how can we give love to others when we are unable to love ourselves? Everything starts from within, it starts from the relationship we have with ourselves and the ability to love honour, appreciate and value ourselves. The beauty of the single season is that it is the perfect lesson on self-love, it teaches you the importance of knowing how to cultivate that love for yourself, how to accept yourself, and how to honour and care for yourself. You build the necessary foundation within yourself that will carry you through your relationships with others.

But those lonely moments aren’t easy.

I miss being in a relationship, I miss companionship. I would say I miss love, but I still experience love. I just miss the feeling of loving on someone in an intimate way, missing someone and having butterflies when you are around them. Sometimes I wonder when I will find my person, and then I remember I have my person. I will just appreciate the ability to one day share the love I have for myself with a significant other. However, it is all about quality and value. Loneliness can be temporarily fixed, we can all jump on a dating app and go on a few dates, we can call that old thing and spend a night with them. But is that really worth it? Is that temporary satisfaction really worth the lack of quality and the minimal value these people provide? I’d say no, so until I meet someone who is a direct reflection of not only me and my values but of God’s image, then I will remain loyal to this season.

-Erykah. A