Have you ever gotten yourself into a cycle, finding yourself making the same mistakes?

I got myself into a cycle of not being assertive regarding the kind of people I allow into my life and the type of situations I’d entertain. These could be negative people who drain my energy etc. I realised that I can’t keep doing the same things, not being assertive about who I give my time and attention to. If you repeat the same mistakes, doing the same things you did before whatever that may be, how will you grow?

In my experience whenever I’d make these mistakes at first, I’d beat myself up (which is this horrible habit I tend to do when I feel like I should’ve known better). I would call myself stupid and almost make myself believe that I didn’t deserve good things because of the irrational choices I made or not being assertive regarding certain situations or people.

Then I took a step back and thought, ok what’s this situation telling me about myself, the choices I make and the type of things I allow?

Once I began to ask myself these pivotal questions, I made a choice that I won’t put myself in a position where I’m stagnating myself and blocking myself from better, better people, better energy and better opportunities. Making the same mistakes over again will keep you in the exact same place and attracting the same people that you are trying to avoid. I also decided to stop beating myself for making mistakes or allowing things I know I shouldn’t. Instead, I will do what I can to resurrect those mistakes and do better next time. I’m on a journey and on my journey, I will encounter some hard times, I will make those mistakes. I then began to release any guilt I had, I do deserve good things and convincing myself otherwise puts negative energy into my space. I believe God shows us signs of where we need to be in our lives and I believe that in life we are put through tests, these tests give us the tools we need to get where we actually need to be.

However, whilst you shouldn’t attack yourself for any mistakes you’ve made, you have to be willing to hold yourself accountable. Sometimes many of our decisions and life choices have been a result of significant events, our childhoods and personal relationships in our lives and the effect they have had on us. But once you are aware of this, ask yourself what are you going to do about that? At that point of awareness, you have a choice to make a positive change in your life, to change these toxic behaviours and the break the cycle you have put yourself in.

There are a couple of things I decided to do:

1. Positive behaviour: I decided to think more positively and do more positive activities such as deciding to work on my commitment skills. I became committed to practicing yoga, meditation and exercising every day. This has helped me stay grounded, focusing on myself and what’s important.

2. Taking accountability: Holding myself accountable for my past transgressions, working on myself mentally. Thus breaking myself free from any shackles I may have put myself in.

3. There is always room for mistakes: Instead of thinking negatively about the mistakes I’ve made, I trivialised them, I began to see them as small blunders than I can grow from.

All of this is a greater power, once you understand this it’ll make your journey through this life a little easier. Understanding who you are, what you deserve, your self-worth and ultimately concur loving yourself. This isn’t an overnight thing, it’s a process of trials, tribulations, and progression. But it’s worth it!

Thank you for reading.