Let’s talk “situationships!”

I feel like most of us have been in a situationship or two at some point. For anyone who doesn’t actually know what a ‘situationship’ is, it’s basically a situation which is not quite a relationship, there’s no label but sex, comfort, conversation, and feelings are usually involved.

It’s easy to end up in a situationship, and sometimes you just find yourself in one. My last situationship went on for months and it became draining, there was no direction just confusion and disloyalty. I caught feelings for a guy who didn’t know what he wanted from me. I remember going back and forth with him for months trying to figure out if this was worth holding onto. I think with a lot of us girls we have this hope that things will change and eventually become serious so we hold onto a situation which we know isn’t going anywhere. Some people do prefer situationships because it takes away certain aspects of a relationship that they are not yet willing to commit to, i.e. loyalty or just the seriousness of a relationship. But you still get the sex, company, someone to talk to etc. Based on my personal experience I feel like they can be a waste of time. I think they breed confusion and men who don’t know want they want tend to prefer situationships because it’s easier for them.

Some of us girls will see a guy, spend quality time with him and have sex without stating our real intentions because maybe we are scared of rejection so instead we will ‘go with the flow’. Sometimes that guy would have made it clear that he’s not looking for a relationship which we will agree to at first only to catch feelings sometime later and now we’re stuck lol. This man doesn’t want anything serious but now we’re asking “what are we?” When deep down we know what it is. Feelings change though so I can’t blame girls for ending up in that type of situation. I also think it’s inevitable if you are spending a lot of intimate time with someone that feelings will naturally start to develop. However, I do think it can be avoided by simple, honest communication throughout about what each of you are looking for. If you’ve identified that your feelings have changed about them it is then your responsibility to communicate this or remove yourself from the situation if the other party does not feel the same. I defo could have saved myself a whole lot of time and trouble if I did.

In my experience when the situationship ended I was sad and so angry. I got over it quickly but I was still bothered by the situation. I remember I asked him “do you see us two getting into a relationship eventually?” to which he replied “In the near future I don’t see myself in a relationship” I was like OH, sure…when I say I cried on the train on my way back home lmaooo. I was finished. I was thinking it has been months and you are STILL unsure? Really?

Personally, I won’t get into another situationship or at least one where there is no direction. It’s important to be mindful of who you give your time, body and energy to. These should be preserved for someone who actually knows what they want, no one deserves the confusion that can come from some situationships. You should aim to get to know someone who sees a future with you. Not someone who wants to use your body and company for the meantime because its beneficial for them, only to tell you they don’t want a relationship or consider anything serious. I just don’t think that’s fair.

I’m not saying do not get into a situationship, this is merely my opinion based on my experience. It’s fine to just want a sexual relationship or company with one particular person, but what I’m saying is that both parties need to be aware that when you are investing time into each other, feelings can develop so there just needs to be understanding on both sides.

Thank you for reading.